JennPregnant6Months

I am in a weird place.

It sort of feels like a calm before the storm- and given my love of the cozy days that come along with a dark and foreboding cloud cover, I should totally be enjoying the peace and quiet. I know in 3 months, when Baby #2 arrives, my world is going to be turned upside down. I will look back at days like today- when I spend the majority of my waking minutes feeling so guilty about not working enough/writing enough/cleaning enough/organizing enough/cooking enough that before I know it the day is over and all I have to show for it is a grumpy mood- and want to retroactively punch myself in the face.

I think I expected these kinds of “what is my life going to look like” self-doubts and emotions the first time around.  I let myself chill out a bit because I knew  that there was NO WAY I could be in any way prepared for the changes that were ahead as we went from a carefree couple to, gulp, parents so may as well enjoy lazy days in bed while they were still an option.

I guess I assumed having a second would not throw me for quite as much of a loop. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have always expected that it was going to be insanity- if I thought the two kid thing would be easy, I wouldn’t have waited as long as I did to actually give it a go.  And for exactly that reason, I thought I would better be able to enjoy the ride to the finish line. Allowing myself to temporarily slow down the pace, both professionally and personally.

The awareness of how severe the storm is going to be should allow me a higher comfort level with the chill time before it hits, right? 

But so far, it hasn’t. Living in limbo is making me a head case. And as such, I have come to the realization that perhaps this is the way I am wired, and I may never be able to change it. I may never be okay with watching TV in the middle of the day (I still close the blinds when I sneak a mid-day episode of Sons of Anarchy, which is ridiculous for many reasons, not the least of which is that nobody can see me and, heck, I am a grown up and if I want to watch biker dudes traffic guns for 52 minutes, that is my prerogative!), or taking a spontaneous (and most likely unnecessary) trip to HomeGoods just because.  Partaking in these kind of activities- while our sitter takes care of my daughter(s)- may simply cause me so much guilt that I can’t enjoy them, and therefor it isn’t worth doing them in the first place.  So I may as well continue working my butt off while simultaneously organizing every nook and cranny of our home and FINALLY getting around to making that photo album from out trip to Disney last May. 

I wish I could re-wire my mind, at least for the next six months. I want to savor the silence, the free time, the afternoon naps. I really do. I know how fortunate I am to have them.  But knowing how fortunate you are and enjoying how fortunate you are are two very different and, in my case at the moment, mutually exclusive things. 

So there you have it- what is on my mind lately, from the minute I wake up until pretty much the minute I fall asleep at night.  And now it is saved for all posterity so, in a few months when I am pulling my hair out trying to get a baby on a schedule while keeping Alexa feeling happy, loved and entertained, I can come back to the blog, read this, and, as previously stated, retroactively punch myself in the face. 

I got this amazing pair from H&M Maternity, and have been living in them. They work with every single thing that traditional denim works with, and add a slight hint of grit/edge to your look in the most effortless way possible.  

As I attempt to evolve my style away from the super girly and into something a bit more minimalist, grey jeans have proven invaluable. Especially since maternity fashion tends towards  ultra-feminine prints and shapes, being able to throw on these jeans, a black long-sleeved tee and an infinity scarf makes me feel like some semblance of myself still exists (buried underneath all the extra pounds…I’m still in there…somewhere!)

After sorting through hundreds of options, I compiled the fruits of my virtual shopping labor in the lookbook above- perfect pairs at every price.

PLAE shoes

For as much as my daughter is a rough and tumble little bruiser (always the one coming home from school with dirt on her knees, matted hair and boo boos galore), she is most certainly a girly girl. The prospect of soccer was made significantly more acceptable when she got her hands on the pink tie dye shinguard socks, and before she tackles the boys in her class during a game of duck duck goose she makes sure to tell them not to tear her purple tulle tutu. 

If Alexa could wear plastic princess heels every day, she probably would. But since I don’t let her sport them outside the confines of her playroom (c’mon people, I have to keep up some semblance of street cred!) and her busy preschool life requires lots of running around, it was time to get a real pair of sneakers. 

Enter PLAE Shoes. For my budding fashion stylist, the option to customize her kicks with the interchangeable velcro tabs made putting her sneakers on pretty much the most exciting part of her morning. I love that she can put them on herself (yay for the pull tabs on the back heel) and that they have just the right amount of traction on the soles to keep her from flying across the slippery school floor.

The more I get familiar with the “I want to choose MYSELF!” mentality of this age, the more appreciation I have for sneaky ways that I can let Alexa think she is the one making the decisions when in reality, I am the one getting MY way. In daily battle of getting dressed for school, letting her pick the velcro tabs on the sneakers I have already decided she is going to wear is a tiny victory for the both of us.

SHOP THE POST:

It only lasts until midnight on Wednesday, so in an effort to save you valuable virtual shopping time, I have compiled a list of the 10 best things to buy during the Shopbop Friends & Family sale. Just enter the code FAMILY25 at checkout for 25% off site wide. Site. Wide. 

I use the occasion of Friends & Family sales to scoop up the timeless pieces I know I will most likely never go on sale- and this year’s contenders are:

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