It is no secret that I find motherhood insanely challenging, frustrating, confusing, exhausting and about a hundred other “-ings”. And while of course I have always felt love for my daughter (an up front disclaimer in case you start unintentionally judging like I imagine I would had I been born with more maternal inclinations), over the course of a 48 hour jaunt to a family wedding in Georgia this weekend, things changed.
Maybe it was the euphoria of traveling on an airplane without a carseat or a stroller (or the moonshine I sampled at the rehearsal dinner) but something clicked. Alexa was awesome. Now, in addition to simply loving her, I am totally obsessed with the hilarious, mischievous, brave and sweet little lady that lives with us. Like, to the point that when I couldn’t sleep last night I was willing her to wake up at 1am just so we could hang out. Yup.
Things that typically made traveling annoying all of the sudden were super exciting, once seen through the eyes of a 2 1/2 year old. Going through security? What a thrill! Boarding? Wow- so many people to smile at! The gate-to-gate train at the Atlanta Airport? An adventure! Even waiting for our bags was an excuse for an impromptu picnic. (I know, I know- mom of the year over here letting her kid eat Dunkin’ Donuts muffin crumbs off the carpet at the Westchester Airport.)
Instead of grunting my way through endless 5 minute-increment toddler-friendly activities, watching the clock until bedtime so Brian and I could enjoy ourselves kid-free, I found myself laughing hysterically (and lovingly) at everything Alexa did or said, enjoying her company while running through the hotel halls, sipping post-wedding cocktails (vodka soda for me, 1/2 of a Shirley Temple for her), even splashing around in an indoor pool populated mainly by kids under age 5 who were most definitely peeing. In the photo above, she is mocking me while I try and teach her how to pose for pictures. And I am giggling, not grimacing.
At first I chalked it up to Alexa turning a corner. However, I am realizing that maybe I finally caught up to her on the sidewalk.